Thursday, May 8, 2014

In the Midst - The Ups and Downs

I'm writing from a different place tonight. I may ramble here, but thought I'd shed some light on the path I travel on. 

I'm a positive gal, an optimist at heart. This chronic condition has had its share of daily ups and downs, weekly ones, and even months that were just hard. I've come a long way and am thankful the Lord has shown me progress lately. 

So, to cut to the chase, my insurance decided today it will no longer pay for my chiropractic adjustments - that I don't need them, I'm well enough. It was such hard news to here as I left the clinic tonight, with all of my appointments lined up until early June. It's hitting a tough nerve in me with where I'm at in my journey. 

I've made a decision in the past few months to gradually reduce my prescriptions by using more natural alternatives. When my doctor looked at me and said I'm taking the prescriptions that should be helping (and they aren't), I knew I needed to try a different path. I've been on a good path seeing the naturopath and after 3 weeks of chiropractic appts (3x per week). My headaches have been reduced in intensity and frequency which is huge for me - nothing has touched my headaches like the results I've had there. I literally had days I walked in with a headache and walked out without one. Pretty incredible from the chronic non-stop headaches I'm used to! 

I also left their office feeling frustrated yesterday after having a re-exam to check progress and having the highest blood pressure I've ever had. Something like 145/93 and resting pulse at 95. That's not ok! Not with me. So I was determined to stay the course and looked forward to this office helping me reach wellness. I still can, I just will have to pay out of pocket unless I can somehow convince my insurance to cover it (I'm thinking it won't work that well for me;) but I'll try.).

It just made me feel frustrated that they have no problem paying for my family doctor that has no ideas how to get me better, pay for prescriptions that aren't getting me anywhere, but they won't cover something that is finally actually showing signs of progress. 

So there's my vent - thanks for that :) I know this is just a bump in the road, and maybe it'll make me get on a more active workout plan, or find a good massage therapist (I've had knots in my back and neck every time I've been at the chiro's office). 

Life has ups and downs, but sometimes it helps us find the inner strength we need to push even harder toward our goals. 

On my way home tonight, I saw a car in an accident from a distance, along the path Nick travels from work to home and immediately worried it was Nick. It wasn't. But I think I needed that to remind me my insurance not covering these visits is certainly not the end of the world ;). I'm glad I had perspective in that moment to step out of my self pity. 

I was just feeding Ranger dinner and had an ah-hah moment. We've transitioned him to a different brand of food, so we've tried different things to get him to eat it (he wasn't sold at first). I gave him a small amount tonight left over from what he didn't eat at breakfast. He probably assumed that was his meal and finished it. When I realized he finished it, I gave him more, knowing that little amount wasn't his dinner. 

For Ranger, I had in mind the other food he'd get for dinner when I gave it to him. He didn't know though, he can only see what's in front of him. We can only see our present circumstances, where the Lord knows what's next. I fully trust him with his plan for me and know he sees my journey laid out. It's more helpful if we stop squirming in discomfort and just trust His plan. Way easier on us too, right? :) 

A few photos lately... mostly of Rangerboy, ha! I guess he's been my photo subject these past few weeks. 

 Pure preciousness right here. 

 Most photos with him are like this. Mid-motion. This boy is busy and is usually on the move.

 This face:) and my crazy long hair! It's grown like crazy this past year.
Our favorite puppy turned 9 months old this week - I did a fun look back at his 9 months so far. It's been a wild journey, but he obviously has me wrapped around his paw. 

Today's Pinspiration:
Food for Thought.. ;) Thanks for "listening" to my rant tonight, friends. 
Rejection is just redirection -- great quote. Everything happens for a reason.
(Pinterest Source)

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